Trying to be an Author AKA Struggles with Imposter Syndrome

Have you ever had the skills to do something but still felt unable to do it? A degree that sits in a draw, a job opening never applied for, a novel that lays unwritten. Something is going on.

Sure… It could be that you spent too much time eating ice cream and playing Minecraft into the wee hours of the morning. But maybe that’s not it. Maybe you’re not as useless as you tell yourself you are… Maybe you just got owned by imposter syndrome! I should know, because I do all the damn time.

To be honest, I feel it now. Who am I to be writing this? I have no qualifications, no unique experiences, and probably no interesting thoughts or opinions. What do I have that could benefit anyone else?

Isn’t it strange how we would never say anything like this to a friend, but to ourselves, we’re fair game? In my experience, imposter syndrome always starts as a nagging voice in my mind. Never an outright challenge but a simple comment that undermines my ability,

"Maybe I should do more research on this before I start,"

or

"I bet (Insert any one of my favorite authors here) could do this way better than I ever could."

They seem innocent enough, but these comments are the self-talk equivalent of whacky tobbaccy. They’re the gateway drugs on the path to full-blown imposter syndrome. A hop, skip, and jump from "I'll never be good enough. I should just give up now and save myself the trouble."

The incredible author Brené Brown said of shame:

“If you put shame in a petri dish, it needs three ingredients to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgment...”

I would propose that at the heart of imposter syndrome is shame. A sense that we are not worthy of what we desire with the only logical assertion that we must be pretending to be. If imposter syndrome is fueled by shame, then it thrives on the same ingredients.

Which means we can fight it.

Lately, I’ve been writing a lot more than I used to. At first, I thought it was my starting to drink coffee, but recently I’ve wondered if something else is happening. Between listening to a great podcast for creators and trying to share more about my writing with those around me, I’ve begun to feel less like an imposter.

The more I’ve thought about it the more I’ve realized how much we all need a safe place to share our experiences. Writing is so often a solitary pursuit, and in that, there is so much potential for imposter syndrome to grow.

When I hear other writers speak, when I read their words, and I find out that they have the same doubts that I do, it does something incredible. The shame can begin to melt away, and I find myself able to step into this idea that I am a professional writer.

It's why I'm trying to share more of myself with the world. Not because I think I have something to teach anyone, but because I think you all have so much to teach me. As a writer, I need to tap into my vulnerability to connect with the humanity of my characters. It never occurred to me that I could use it to connect with other people too. It is through the strength of our peers that we overcome imposter syndrome.

There will always be rough patches, but as long as we don’t work in isolation, we can make it to the finish line of any project we set our minds to.

Thank you for reading this, and I encourage you to share your own experiences with imposter syndrome in the comments.